Many of us have been blessed with a child or children, either through natural means, adoption or heart connection. You may naturally know how to love your child , but often need to know what to do when your child is hurting. Being a parent is both the most rewarding and most challenging roles we play in our lifetime. We experience the indescribable joy of a heart swollen to bursting with love , yet sometimes sadly experience the most excruciating pain through loss, disappointment or rejection.
By the grace of God, we as parents, endure the hardships and pain of life which we all will experience one time or another. We survive, press on and hold on because we have anchored our hope to Jesus Christ, but no matter how much we want to, we can not carry our child’s pain. We are spectators, feeling every hurt our child is suffering, desperate to take on our child’s pain and bear it for him/her, but we sadly cannot.
I was recently in just that position. Knowing first hand what a devastating heart-break feels like, I wanted to crawl out of my body and surround my son with my love and comfort and the reassurance, that all will be well. The tears I cried when I witnessed his heart-wrenching sobs, and my helplessness in the emotional tsunami he was experiencing, threatened to create a tsunami of it’s own.
When my heart was shattered in a painful betrayal, it nearly drowned me and threatened to suck me down into a deep, bottomless abyss. Facing my children, job , family, friends and life duties with my broken self, was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
My firm grounding in the Lord Jesus Christ ( although having strayed from His path), was my saving grace literally. God showed himself faithful to me and I grabbed hold of the throne. I held on for dear life and found healing and restoration in the loving arms of Jesus.
How do I teach my son, to stand in the face of unspeakable pain?
My painful lessons, were mine and I had to go through and grow through my pain. I realised that Christopher had to go through the fire of affliction too. This fire we go through , we have to count as “pure joy ” because it is in the fire of affliction that character and patience is developed. We cannot pray for patience, it has to be developed. It is a by-product of tribulations. Similarly character is forged through trials and tribulations. We do our children a great disservice when we deny them the fire experiences and try to “save” them from every difficulty.
When your child is hurting, it is your love for him that should get you to be hands off and head bowed (in prayer).
When you submit your worries and cares to our Creator, trust in His unfailing wisdom and surrender your child to Jesus, He will surround your child with His love, comfort, strength and guidance better than you ever can.
Jesus did it all for us at the cross.
As you look to Him, your children will too.