Loss is something that we all will face in life at one time or another. It is painful and sometimes devastating to let go of someone you have loved, or something you’ve worked for or dreamed of. The stages of letting go must end in acceptance and the realization that we must bury or burn and walk away from someone or something that has died in our lives.
Holding onto past hurts , failures or disappointments keeps us in bondage and prevents us from living life that God has intended for us. The pain can be so intense that we deny or refuse to believe that the worst has happened. It is a defense or coping mechanism that our mind employs to keep it from splintering. Anger also rears it’s ugly head, and sadly many of us direct this anger towards God for “allowing” it to happen , forgetting that we live in a fallen world. We may beg and plead or bargain with whoever we think holds the relief that we so desperately need and we may sometimes compromise our beliefs or convictions. At this stage, it is unthinkable to bury or burn it and walk away.
Nothing should be done without prayer and seeking God’s guidance. Search His word for direction and apply His standards. After you have heard from God, trust Him to go before you into the new thing that He has prepared for you. Rom 8:28 assures us that “all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose“. God has promised that He will restore DOUBLE for every trouble you’ve seen if you return to Him,(Zach 9:12). David pleaded, cried and begged God to save the child that He had with Bathsheba, but the child died. When he heard that the child had died, David wiped the tears from his eyes, got up and accepted it as the will of God. He moved on. God blessed him later with another son,Solomon. So cry and mourn before God. Pour out your heart to Jesus. Then allow Him to heal and restore you.
Bitterness, unforgiveness ,vengeance and despair are tools that the enemy of our souls uses to keep us in bondage, thereby preventing the love of God to operate in our lives. It goes against our human nature to be loving when our hearts are broken. Yet this is what Jesus requires of us when He tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who spitefully use us. When we pray, we go through God who IS love. Love is the most powerful force that destroys the forces of darkness . Love is of God and everyone who loves is full of God and knows God. We cannot say that we know God when we do not love. Yes, even in the most unfair circumstances God calls us to love. By loving God first, we receive the love for others that He requires from us.
In our own strength we cannot do it, that is why we need to lay our shattered dreams, wounded hearts and broken toys at the feet of Jesus. Tell Him everything that is on your mind and in your heart. He knows anyway but this relationship with Him is what He desires. When we give our sorrows to God He turns it into Joy. He promises that “weeping may endure for a night but Joy comes in the morning”. Psalms 30:5
Like carbon dioxide needs to be exhaled lest it poisons the body, so too bitterness, sadness, unforgiveness and vengeance must be released. Clean, fresh air needs to be inhaled so that healthy life is allowed to continue. Letting go does not mean a memory lapse and a denial that the unthinkable has happened. No,it is the extracting of the life-giving oxygen, i.e your good memories , and a releasing of the poisonous carbon dioxide, the bad memories. It is a necessary release .
Separation from the “dead” is essential for healing and restoration. Where there has been a death of a loved one, as much as we love them, we cannot keep their bodies in our physical space. Their physical bodies will decay and disintegrate, releasing a pungent smell and maggots will form and crawl all around the lifeless body.It is unthinkable to hug or kiss this decaying body, that is why we bury or cremate those who have passed away.
Similarly, we need to acknowledge and accept that a relationship is dead or the career is a dead-end. We must understand that whatever God has meant for us, will be ours and no devil in hell can stop this. If it’s meant for you, it will be yours. Nothing and no one can stop God’s plan for your life EXCEPT YOU. He gave us free will so that we can CHOOSE Him.
Walking away and moving on is easier said than done, as much has gone into these circumstances, relationships or ideas.It may be that years have been invested in somebody or much money and great sacrifice has been poured into a project. As difficult and painful as this is, we need to let it go. Everything that will not be healed must be forsaken.That fatal breath signifies that a turning point has come and the curtain has closed.There is no longer a need to sit by the bed of the deceased. The living must leave.
As with the lifeless body, the foul smell and decay, in the form of bitterness, pessimism and hatred , will attach itself to our hearts and poison our future. It will repel new, good and better things from our lives.
I’ve heard it said that a good poker player, knows when to “fold” when he has a losing hand. Take control of your emotions, because you have certainly been empowered by the Holy Spirit to do this, and assess and learn from your mistakes or failures. Difficult circumstances is when your character grows the most. When you look to Jesus, He will fill you with His perfect peace.
We live in a fallen world, and bad things happen by circumstance or by free will. When you are hurting, God is never more close to you. He is close to the broken hearted and to those who have a contrite spirit. Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to bind up their wounds. He is right there. Separate yourself from your pain and lay it at the feet of Jesus. He will surround you with His love and carry you when you cannot go on. Your weakness, is exactly when His strength will operate to maximum effect.
In Isaiah 43:19 God says “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun…” In order for God to do the new thing in your life, you need to let go so that your hands are free to receive your new blessing from God.
What was meant to harm or destroy you, God will turn it around and use it to bless you. (Gen 50:20)
I pray that you have been encouraged by this post. Look to Jesus and you will find that He has new Grace every morning for what you are facing and is WITH YOU through it all.
God Bless you